Unravel

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Last October my husband and I were at the very end of a very long and demanding journey. For a few years we had been trying to have a child. After multiple infertility treatments we actually got to the stage where we had a (one) healthy embryo for me to carry. And right after the transfer of said embryo we drove to Vancouver. My husband was attending a conference, and I tagged along for some rest, going with the thought that keeping my stress levels down would help with the implantation. Well, it helped. I am now the mother of an eight week old baby.

Baby M is challenging me in ways I could never have imagined. If there is anything that could have stripped me down to my basics, revealing the truth at my core, it was having and raising this kid. And I’ll tell you right now that it’s messy. It’s crazy. I am now learning about what I am capable of, what I need help with, what I’m willing to do, who I’m willing to be, and more. It’s been an incredible period of feeling every emotion you could think of all at once, and a test of what you can do on nearly no sleep. But sprinkled between all of that are moments of wonder, fascination, glee, and just plain love.

That’s it for now. As much as I want to be on my computer and marathon TV shows. And believe me, I try. I’m finding and accepting that life is forever changed. I have the biggest job in the world, and I want to be the best I can be at it. Until next time!

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